The Further Adventures of the Buffybot
by Jenn B
Summary: An alternate reality series focusing on the wacky adventures of the Buffybot including her encounters with Angel and Riley! Chap. 3 added!!! Thanks to all for the feedback!
1. Buffybot Goes to LA

The Further Adventures of the Buffybot  
  
  
::Buffybot goes to LA::  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them Joss!  
Author: Jenn B.  
Feedback: Please! Also posted at http://www.geocities.com/jennsanity  
Rating: PG-13 (if you can watch the show...)  
Author's Note: These are the things that keep me up at night....An insomniac fic which pretty much explains the whole thing.  
Summary: Set after The Gift and somewhere during the 3rd season of Angel before he finds out Buffy is back from the grave. What happened before Willow got all   
of those programming kinks out of the Buffybot's system? The bot takes a trip to LA that's what. :-)  
Spoilers: Season 5 dealing with Buffy's death and the making of the robot. None for Angel.  
  
  
In the immaculate lobby of the Hyperion hotel, a.k.a. headquarters of Angel Investigations, the fang gang is hard at work trying to track down some demon or another as they always do. Cordelia perches herself on top of the counter with a bored look on her face as she adds yet another unhelpful book to the growing pile. Wesley frowns slightly at the way she handles the fragile, old book but glancing up and taking note of Cordy's expression wisely holds his tongue. Angel is pacing back and forth in front of the weapons chest, having a good brood while the rest of the gang searches for information. Research was never really his forte anyhow. Gunn watches him walk back and forth and back and forth, the motion is making him seasick and is about to say something when the doors of the hotel swing forcefully open emitting a blonde bombshell that takes his mind immediately off his troubles.   
The girl is wearing a pink skirt with a leather jacket, a nice combination of suger and spice and everything nice in Gunn's opinion. He is so preoccupied that he fails to notice the shocked expressions on his coworkers face's as they take in the presence of this newcomer.  
  
"Welcome to Angel Investi-" Gunn starts to say before he is interrupted by a gasp from Cordelia.  
  
" Buffy?" She says in an incredulous tone. " But you're d-"  
  
" Dead." Angel finishes her sentence.   
  
" THAT'S Buffy?" Gunn says eyebrows raised. " Figures."  
  
" Incredible." Wesley exclaims, picking up his glasses and standing up to get a better look at the girl.  
  
" It's not Buffy." Angel growls at the three who are now attempting to talk all at once.  
  
" Angel, if it looks like a Buffy and it talks like a Buffy, chances are..." Cordelia quips.  
  
" It's not her. This...thing...isn't human." Angel says in disgust.  
  
" Yes I am!" The Buffybot exclaims defensively. " I am Buffy. You are Angel. You have stupid hair." She states matter of factly.  
  
" What?" Angel says confused for a moment. He then clenches his jaw and walks over to the abomination that is impersonating his Buffy and grabs it by the shoulders in a fierce grip. The Buffybot simply blinks at him with a plastic smile on her face.   
  
" You're like Spike!" She announces proudly. " Spike is sexy."   
  
" WHAT!?" Angel blurts out, not quite believing he'd ever hear those words coming from anything resembling Buffy.  
  
" Bot!" A sudden English accented voice cries out from the doorway. As if her previous statement announced his presence , Spike walks into the room, his duster swirling around him and a stricken look on his face as he surveys the situation.  
  
" Oh, balls." Spike exclaims as he takes note of the murderous expression in his fellow vampire's eyes. " Red! I found it...RED!" He shouts at the top of his lungs as Angel abandons his grip on the Buffybot's shoulders only to replace them around Spike's throat. Hoisted up above his once partner in crime's head, Spike found himself slammed into the wall by the door.  
  
" Angel!!! Wait!" Spike heard Willow's voice cry out through the ringing in his ears. He struggles to get up before Angel can get him down again but only receives a kick in the ribs as a reward for being able to get up on all fours.  
  
" Don't do that to Spike!" The Buffybot exclaims and promptly pushes Angel out of the way, sending him reeling back a few feet opposite the direction of Spike. " Spike! Do you want to have sex now? I recognize that positio-"   
  
" NO! No bot that's not...no be quiet." Spike says, quickly getting up from the floor where he was kneeling on all fours again.  
  
Angel unfortunately places together the end of that sentence and, eyes glowing amber, rushes toward the vampire and his creation.  
  
" Decedo! Detono!" Willow shouts an incantation in the background and the three parties suddenly freeze as a glow circles around each of them.  
  
The rest of the gang are still in their original positions around the counter, their eyes wide at the little performance commencing before their eyes. More than one of them pinches their arm to make sure that the boring research didn't act as a sleeping pill and create this odd dream.  
  
  
" Now is everyone calm?" Willow asks the trio. Three heads nod in reply. " Okay then, diffluo" she says and with a wave of her hand the misty glowing circles disappear from around Angel, Spike, and the Buffybot.   
  
" Willow?" Angel asks, really noticing her this time.  
  
" Yes. And Spike is here with me. He means no harm." She sighs. She had forgotten about the old feud between the two vampires for a moment in her haste to find the Buffybot before it caused any damage. ' Too late.' she thinks to herself.  
  
" What is that thing?" Angel asks her, referring to the Buffybot who is now petting a protesting Spike who looks rather uncomfortable.   
  
" That is a long story." Willow says. " The gist of which is that thing is a robot, it helps us with the slaying and generally keeps the rest of the vamps in the dark about Buffy." She says the last part quietly seeing the pain in the souled vampire's eyes which she is sure is reflected in her own.  
  
" But why with the..?" Cordy asks, eying the interaction between the robot and Spike with a pained look on her face indicating nausea.  
  
" Spike had her built so she's kinda partial." Willow says quickly. ' What they don't know won't hurt them...or Spike.' She thinks matching Cordelia's expression with one of her own.  
  
" Yeah, so, we got the bloody robot back, can we go now Red?" Spike says, steering the Buffybot by the shoulders in front of him towards the door.  
  
" I guess that would be the best thing. I'm soo sorry, Angel. I never thought that you'd have any reason to know about this or I would have told you I swear."  
  
The already brooding vampire nods in reassurance and watches the strange triplet walk out the door. He turns towards his friends in silence, there is nothing he could possibly say to top that little comedy of errors that had just taken place.  
  
" OK, one question," Cordelia speaks up. " Why would Spike build a robot that looks just like Buffy and obeys his every command in the first place?"  
  
Three male faces exhibit a comedic display of emotions as their thoughts go from pensive to horrified to disbelieving at the theory simultaneously conjured up by all of them  
  
" Ohhhh." Cordy says, her own stomach turning at the thought.  
  
" I really didn't want to know this ya'll" Gunn says.  
  
" Amazing." Wesley murmurs which earns him shocked glances from all. " I mean...the likeness of her to...never mind."  
  
" I think we should. Never mind that is. Pretend this never happened." Angel says, staring off into the distance with a horrified look on his face.  
  
" And so we journey into the happy land of repressed memories." Cordelia says, picking up another book and initiating them to resume their research and block out the recent events.  
  
The End 


	2. Buffybot vs. Riley

The Further Adventures of The BuffyBot - Chapter Two  
Disclaimer and rating in part one.  
Feedback: Please!!   
AN: I'm ignoring the events of "As You Were" for the purpose of this story. Since it is set before season 6 and Buffy's return from the grave it shouldn't be too much of a problem.  
  
  
  
Buffybot meets Captain Cardboard  
  
The Sunnydale Memorial Graveyard is bathed in silver moonlight, making the two figures walking through it even more visible that they want to be. Their blonde heads reflect the light as Spike and the Buffybot take one last look around before heading home from a late night patrol. Spike's face holds a permanent annoyed grimace as the 'bot' rambles on and on about something that fascinated her twisted wires earlier in the day. Ever since her little adventure in Los Angeles, someone was always on robot duty, making sure it didn't get into any more trouble and possibly expose their little secret about the real Buffy's recent demise.  
A rustling in some nearby bushes causes Spike to jump and place a hand over the still chatty robot's mouth.   
  
"Shh." He whispers and the duo creep over to the source of the noise, the Buffybot quite comically so with exaggerated tiptoe actions.  
  
Parting the bushes Spike is surprised to see the one person he never wanted to see again, Riley Finn ex wanker of a boyfriend.   
  
" Riley!" the Buffybot yells out in glee before Spike can stop it.  
  
' Bloody Willow and her extra programming.' Spike thinks to himself. Riley Finn was one of the many names he made sure Warren didn't program into his robot, but Willow insisted on adding more information for accuracy later on.  
  
" Buffy?" Riley calls, a smile on his face. He is dressed in full army camouflage, a gun gripped in his hands. He lowers the weapon that was raised reflexively at the noise and returns the suffocating hug the robot is giving him. His eyes travel over her head to where Spike is standing a few feet away, and the happiness in his eyes changes to cool disdain as he acknowledges the vampire's presense. "Spike." He nearly growls.  
  
The Buffybot releases her grip on the man in front of her and sends a shining smile towards Spike that almost melts his unbeating heart with the wish that it was the real, living Buffy sending him that smile instead.  
  
" Spike! Look it is Riley! He does not seem to resemble cardboard like you said." The bot announces happily.  
  
"Close resemblance though innit it?" He says under his breath, before nodding a halfhearted greeting to Riley. Then a wicked grin lights up his face as he realizes that the soldier formerly known as cardboard doesn't know about the robot's existence. 'This could be fun.' Spike thinks to himself.  
  
" Spike and I are on patrol. I tried to get him to have sex on a headstone but he said not right now, bot." The Buffybot said, in her best impression of Spike's accented voice.  
  
"What!?" Riley shouted, not believing what his ears just heard.  
  
" Tha's right, Mate. You left and she turned to me. Funny thing." Spike smirked, feeling halfway guilty for exploiting Buffy's image like this but telling himself that it is justified under extreme circumstances. ' Can't have the little boy demon hunter spilling the facts about Buffy, right?'   
  
" Buffy, you can't be serious! It's....Spike!"  
  
" I am always serious. It is in my programming. Spike is a sex god. And you are unusually tall." The Buffybot states.  
  
" Buffy, what's wrong with you? Why are you talking like that?" Riley asks, leaning down to peer at the bot as though it is a specimen under a microscope. She just blinks and stares back blankly, confusing Riley even more. "What have you done to her, Spike?" He asks, moving towards the vampire with a threat in the tone of his voice.  
  
" I didn't do anything, Soldier boy. Maybe you're leaving just made her see the light. A lot has happened since you up and left Sunnyhell. She likes a little monster in her man for comfort, what can I say?" Spike waggles his eyebrows at the man in front of him provoking Riley to attack. Unable to defend himself, Spike reels backwards from Riley's charge and lands hard on the grass with Riley poised to punch him in the face from his above position. Raising a hand to block the blow, Spike is surprised to hear a loud yelp from the man straddling him. Looking up to Riley's raised fist he sees a female hand covering it, and from the looks of it, squeezing hard enough to cause some major pain.   
  
" Don't. Hurt. Spike!" The robot shouts before throwing Riley over her head to land against a tree nearby with an explosive rush of air from his chest.  
  
" Buffy!" He wheezes in shock.  
  
The Buffybot could care less about Riley now, as she coos over Spike, much to the vampire's joy. The look on Captain Cardboard's face was reward enough for almost being pummeled. Sounds of footsteps hints to company noisily clambering through the graveyard and Xander's voice causes Spike to groan. His "backup" had arrived and his little game was up.  
  
" Spike!" Xander calls " Where are you?"  
  
" Over here." Spike says, without much enthusiasm.  
  
" There you are, I was looking...Riley!" Xander shouts, surprise crossing his face.  
  
" Xander! Thank god! Spike's done something to Buffy, she's not herself!"  
  
" Wha? Riley that's not Buffy." Xander says, shooting a glare at Spike who just shrugs in faux innocence.  
  
" But-" Riley stammers, looking at the Buffybot as though it is an alien.  
  
" Spike didn't tell you? That is a robot that just looks like Buffy. Long story. Riley, Buffy's dead." Xander says, glancing down sadly.  
  
" Dead?" Riley is silent for a long time before he speaks again. " How? When?"   
  
" A few months ago. She saved the world." Xander answers.  
  
" Again." Riley says, his face reflecting shock and grief and a little disbelief.  
  
" Spike, why don't you go home." Xander says, angry that the vampire could have been so cruel to a good friend of his.  
  
" I was gonna tell him. Didn't trust him with the secret tha's all." Spike mumbled, resembling a little kid caught red handed.  
  
" Why a robot?" Riley asks as he watches Spike's duster disappear into the distance.  
  
" Spike had her built. You really don't want to know. But it came in handy after...the demons would have one big party if they knew." Xander said  
  
" Spike built her. Figures." Riley snorts, envisioning Spike shaped piles of dust in his head.  
  
" Yeah. Still trying to forget about that little fact." Xander grimaces.  
  
" Any luck?"  
  
" Months upon months of therapy, my friend." Xander shudders, helping Riley up off the ground.  
  
" Sounds like a plan."  
  
  
The End 


	3. The Buffybot Goes Back In Time

The Buffybot vs. A Time Portal  
  
AN: I am making a leap here and assuming that the buffybot was programmed with past knowledge (as much as Spike would have known) as well as present knowledge. If it doesn't seem all that accurate to those of you who insist on logical thinking (lol) then remember this is quite AU and in that reality it does make sense. :-P  
Jenn B.  
  
  
Sunnydale 2001  
  
"What just happened here?" Giles questions the guilty looking duo of Anya and Dawn as he glances around the interior of the Magic Box which currently looks like a tornado has gone though the main room.  
  
" Anya was showing me this really cool spell that opened up a portal into the past. We weren't going to jump in it or anything, I just asked her if she could do it." Dawn explains rapidly.  
  
" And then that robot thing had to go and ruin it all. That is not an easy spell, you know." Anya huffs.  
  
" I don't think I want to know but how exactly does the Buffybot fit into all of this?" Giles asks, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose where he can already feel a headache forming.  
  
" Well, she kind of, went through it." Dawn replies sheepishly, waiting for the impending explosion from Giles.  
  
" Dear Lord! Do you have any idea what this could mean?! History as we know it to be could be severely altered just by her presence in the past! What time did you send her to, Anya?"  
  
" I'm not exactly sure. But I did put a safety on the spell. It should revert in a few hours."   
  
" A few hours? That robot can get into trouble in a few minutes!" Giles shouted. The ex demon just shrugged helplessly as Dawn was attempting to slink away.   
  
" Dawn! I would advise you to stay put. We are going to get out the books and do research and hopefully we can get the bot back before irreversible damage occurs." Giles orders in an eerily calm voice that sends a shiver down the girl's spine.  
  
  
Sunnydale 1997  
  
" Where am I? There are many people here. I must find Spike or Willow." The Buffybot says to herself as she scans the halls of Sunnydale High School. A few students passing by her give her odd glances but most ignore her conversation with herself. She walks a few steps, pausing in front of the library doors. " I know this." She says; stopping to access her memory files. ' Data: Places: Library: meeting place Librarian/ Guyels.  
  
" Guyels is in here! He will help me find Spike!" She announces to whomever is within listening distance and pushes open the swinging double doors. Inside the musty smelling room, Willow is sitting with legs crossed in a chair by the center table, twirling her long red hair around a finger as she pursues a book resting in her lap.  
  
" Willow! My friend!" The bot calls out cheerfully.  
  
" Hey, Buffy. I thought you were out looking for the keoie demon?"  
  
" I have no reference of that. Where is Spike?"   
  
" Spike? Should he be here? Did he try something again?" Willow asks, looking fairly panicky.  
  
" I should go find Spike. I miss his sexy undead body."  
  
" What?! Buffy are you feeling OK?"  
  
To that the Buffybot pinches her arm in speculation before answering. " I feel OK. Maybe you should feel me to find out?"   
  
" Um...no. Buffy, I think you should just wait here until Giles comes back. He went to his place for a book that isn't here. You're acting a little strange."  
  
" I don't mean to. I will stay here until Guyels returns if you think that is best."  
  
" Hey all that is two!" Xander says as he bounds into the library. " How goes with the demon hunting? Anyone go insane from its mystical powers yet?"  
  
" Xander, I think it may have got to Buffy. She's acting really odd. She called Spike sexy."  
  
Xander glances up at the ceiling and shouts " It was a joke!" He then turns to the Buffybot who is standing patiently in the exact same spot Willow told her to wait on. "C'mon Buffster, you're just pulling the old wool over our eyes right? The insano demon is lying dead in a gutter somewhere and you're just relieving stress through humor."  
  
" I kill demons!" The Buffybot announces, picking up on the one part of Xander's spiel that makes sense to her programming.  
  
" Yeah you do." Xander agrees slowly, casting a worried glance at Will.  
  
" Maybe we should call Angel. He knows a lot about demons." Willow said nervously.  
  
" I hate to say it, but he may be able to help here. Insane slayer isn't really my forte."   
" I'll call him, you keep an eye on her. She seems insistent on finding Spike for some reason."   
  
" Great," Xander says under his breath. "That's all we need. I'll bet she and Drusilla could have some in depth conversations." He hops onto the countertop and glances warily at Buffy, who seems to be in a world of her own; a smile plastered onto her face as she stares off into space. ' Wait, when did her hair grow?' Xander thinks, and after a moment of thought chalking it up to his own unique male lack of observation.  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Sunnydale 2001  
  
" Spirit portals, demon portals, where in the bloody hell is the book you used Anya?" Giles shouts, growing impatient as the time wears on, allowing a better chance for disaster.  
  
" It flew over here somewhere in the miniature tornado." She replies.  
  
" I thought it went that way." Dawn counters, pointing in completely the opposite direction of where they are looking.  
  
"Dear Lord." Giles repeats, rolling his eyes as the two females argue over the book's possible location and continues his search.  
  
**************************************************************************************  
  
Sunnydale 1997  
  
" It would appear that something has happened to her. It is consistent with the symptoms presented by a victim of the keoie demon; sluggish speech, loss of memory, delusions." Giles announces later that evening to the group gathered around the library table consisting of Willow, Xander, and Angel.  
  
" But why does she keep mentioning Spike?" Angel questions skeptically.  
  
" He has played a large role in her recent slaying endeavors, perhaps that is feeding into some sort of delusion that she needs to find him." Giles replies, glancing over at the Buffybot who is now standing near Angel; tilting her head at him in curiosity.  
  
" You're hair is bigger." She says during the lull in conversation.   
  
" What?" Angel asks, glancing around at the others for clarification. The three just shrug in response, Xander hiding his laugh behind a fake cough.  
  
" Do you know where Spike is?" She asks the brooding vampire.  
  
" No." He answers gruffly, trying to pinpoint what seems off about her besides the obvious mental impairments.  
  
" Buffy, why do care where Spike is so much? It's never of the good when you too meet. All the fighting and violence." Willow asks calmly, attempting to not sound patronizing.  
  
" You should see him naked. You'd want to find him too. But you can't have him." The bot announces to the horror of everyone.  
  
" Did Spike do something to you Buffy? Is he causing this?" Angel asks, anger welling up in him at the thought of his former partner in crime hurting his love.  
  
" Oh he does many things to me. He's the big bad." She declares proudly.  
  
" This is too weird. Even for here." Xander declares, interrupting the Buffybot's spiel about Spike's "qualities".  
  
Giles simply cleans his glasses, pretending not to understand the implications of Buffy's speech.  
  
" There is a potion that can reverse the effects of the keoie's poisons. We'll need to find the demon for it, however."  
  
" Lead the way." Angel says, his face determined and stony.  
  
" Xander and Angel, we'll look for the demon. Willow I think someone should stay here with her until we return with the cure." Giles suggests. Willow nods in agreement, eyeing the Buffybot as she examines a mechanical pencil with more concentration and fascination than possibly needed for such a task.  
  
As the guys leave the library, Willow turns her full attention to The Buffybot who is now standing right beside her, having abandoned the mechanical pencil.  
  
"Well, what do you want to do, Buffy? Oh! We could play scrabble! Except for the lack of a board or letters." Willow rambles, attempting to start a conversation.  
  
" I want to find Spike. My programming says to find you and slash or Spike if I get lost."  
  
" I don't think that's a good idea, Buffy. Maybe after we get you that potion."  
  
" I'm going now." The Buffybot proclaims, before marching out of the library, leaving Willow staring at her retreating form with a conflicted look on her face.  
  
" Buffy, wait!" She calls and moves to follow her friend who is already nearing the school's exit. 'If I can't stop her at least I can try to distract her.' She thinks, hurrying to catch up to Buffy.  
*************************************************************************************  
  
" I found it!" Dawn shouts triumphantly, holding up a tattered book with an hourglass symbol branded on the aged leather cover.  
  
" Thank heavens. Anya can you open the portal again?"  
" Of course I can. But how do you plan on getting her to go through it again?"  
  
" A location spell." Giles announces.  
  
" Oh. Clever." The ex demon praises the watcher.  
  
" Indeed. Lets get going shall we?"  
  
**************************************************************************************  
  
" This place is wrong." The Buffybot tells a wheezing Willow who had to run to keep up with her friend's quick pace. " Spike should be here."  
  
" Here?" Willow questions glancing around the empty crypt. " But I thought he was staying at the factory?"  
  
" The factory? Where is the factory?"  
  
" Over in the warehouse district. You know that."  
  
" I will go there. Where is there? Can you take me?" The bot implores.  
  
Willow sighs deeply, and after an inner struggle decides that, in this state, Buffy could get into more trouble wandering aimlessly through town looking for the factory than if she knows where it is. ' I can always tell her the long way to go' Willow says to herself and nods in compliance.  
  
" Well, well what do we have here?" A male voice with a distinct British accent queries. " I came looking for a hot meal and look what I get! A slayer and her lackey."  
  
" Hey! I'm not a lackey!" Willow protests, turning to face Spike who is leaning against the crypt's entrance, a smug smirk on his face.  
  
" Spike!" The Buffybot shouts joyfully, and heads towards the peroxide vampire.  
  
" Whoa now." Spike jumps up ready for a fight. " Tha's how it's gonna be then? Want to fight me, Slayer?"  
  
The Buffybot cocks her head for a minute, comprehending his question and then a knowing smile replaces the confused look on her face.  
  
" Do you want to hurt me, Spike?" She asks seductively.  
  
" Wha? I mean yeah. I want to hurt you. I'm going to kill you ,little girl, once and for all." He retorts, thrown by the tone of her voice.  
  
" I want you to hurt me Spike. I want you to bite me and make me yours." She purrs, accessing the script in her "please Spike" folder.  
" Buffy!" Willow cries in disbelief.  
  
Spike can do nothing but stare as his mortal enemy swaggers, actually swaggers, closer to him. Before he can even think of a reaction, however, a swirling blue mass of energy pops up in between the slayer and the vampire, interrupting the bot's path. An overtone of Latin can be heard chanting as she walks straight into the center of it, which promptly closes behind her, leaving no evidence that she was even there except for a bewildered Spike and Willow.   
  
  
Spike quickly recovers his composure, still hungering for a meal, and lunges towards the stunned Willow who screams in terror as his hand encircles her wrist, pulling her body towards his. Just as he leans in for the bite something crashes into his skull, knocking him to the ground and forcing him to release Willow. In the doorway of the crypt, stake in hand, stands Buffy. Next to the writhing Spike on the ground lays a brick, the obvious weapon of choice. Willow hurries over to stand next to her friend, her fear addled brain not questioning her reappearance.   
  
" Are you alright?" Buffy asks, subtly checking her friend's neck for punctures.  
  
" Yeah, but Spike..."   
  
The girls turn together to find Spike has dissapeared as they talked.  
  
" Next time. I've had a loonng night." Buffy groans, rotating a sore shoulder. " You should have seen that kiosk demon thing! He had tentacles and...what? Did I miss something?" She pauses noticing the incredulous look her friend is giving her.  
  
" I...I...I think I need to sit." Willow says, completely confused and wondering if she herself didn't encounter an insanity inducing demon.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
" And for the last time, no more spells!" Giles lectures Anya and Dawn as the Buffybot sits in the background looking on.  
  
" Spells? Who's doing spells?" Willow queries as she steps into the Magic Box.  
  
" It's a very long, insane story, that will make no sense to you." Anya replies.  
  
" Oh like that time we got the mojo from that keoie demon? I had the most vivid dream about that earlier..."  
  
  
The End 


End file.
